Vegetable Fetishes
by autumnchanges
Summary: A series of oneshots involving Draco, Harry, and Draco's obsession with vegetables. Now includes his obsession with fruit as well.
1. Sexy Cucumbers

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco arrives home from a long day at work and gets turned on by the vegetables in the kitchen.**

**AN: I blame this little bugger on work. I'm a cashier at a grocery store and cucumbers were on sale today... this popped into my head at the beginning of my shift and I had to wait a long time to write it! It was pure torture! Well... I hope you like it... Please REVIEW!**

**Sexy Cucumbers**

Draco pulled himself into the apartment, loosened his green tie, and fell onto the plush sofa.

"Harry?" he called, running a hand threw his platinum hair.

"In here, hun," Harry called back. Draco stood and walked into the kitchen. Harry was standing at the counter cutting vegetables.

"Mmm," Draco murmured. "Something smells delicious."

He walked up behind Harry and wrapped his long arms around the other man's waist.

"Long day?" Harry asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Draco said, resting his forehead on Harry's warm neck. He raised his head and placed a soft kiss on the brunette's neck. "What are you making?"

"Spaghetti with meat balls," Harry replied, motioning to the boiling pot on the stove with his knife. "And this is our salad."

Draco reached around Harry and plucked a piece of lettuce out of the large bowl beside the tomatoes.

"Hey!" Harry scolded, swatting Draco's hand away.

"I'm hungry, Harry!" Draco whined.

"Fine," Harry relented. "One bite."

Draco smiled triumphantly and picked up the piece of lettuce again. He placed it in his mouth and groaned.

"This is good."

"It's lettuce, Draco."

"I know. But it's good lettuce."

Harry tossed a pile of cucumbers into the lettuce bowl and then grabbed a tomato.

"Oh," Draco moaned, grabbing a whole cucumber from the counter. "I love cucumbers!"

"I know, Draco."

"They remind me of dirty things."

"Yes, I know, Draco. And it's still very weird."

"But look at it, Harry!"

Draco waved the vegetable in front of Harry's face seductively.

"It's a cucumber."

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Draco..."

"It's a cu_cum_ber, Harry."

"I know."

"Cum."

"Yes."

"Get it, Harry?"

"Yes, I get it, Draco."

"So...?"

"It's just a cucumber!"

"But it's a sexy cucumber!"

Harry sighed and turned to face the blond. His silky hair was disheveled and stuck up in all directions. Harry laughed softly and ran his fingers through the smooth strands.

"You can be so odd sometimes."

"I am not odd, Harry!"

"Cucumbers turn you on."

"I'm sure they turn on a lot of people."

Harry laughed again and pulled Draco's waist closer to him.

"Whatever you say, love."

"I'm not odd."

Draco pouted his lower lip and looked up at his lover.

"No, you're perfectly lovely, Draco."

"Thank you."

Draco pecked Harry on the lips and wrapped his arms around the man's neck. He rested his forehead against Harry's and smiled. Then, he pushed him against the counter. Draco kissed him passionately, grabbing his toned arse.

"Let's take this into the bedroom, Harry."

Harry mumbled his response but grabbed the blond's hand, pulling him out of the kitchen.

"Hold on a second," Draco panted, reaching for the counter. He grasped the cool cucumber in his hand and walked back to Harry. "Okay, let's go!"


	2. Very Ripe Tomatoes

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco and Harry are eating diner at a restaurant and Draco gets turned on by his tomato.**

**AN: So... I continue this demented story about vegetables. Wow, I really need to stop thinking at work. I ended up groping someone's produce today... It's all Draco's fault!**

**Very Ripe Tomatoes**

"What are you having, Draco?" Harry asked, folding his menu and placing it on the table before him.

"I'm not sure," Draco replied, staring at his own menu. "Maybe a salad."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You know what you get like when you have vegetables."

"I don't get like anything!"

"Uh huh."

"I can eat vegetables, Harry."

"I'm not going to have sex with you here."

"What!"

"I said that I'm not having sex with you here."

"I can't believe you!"

"Shh! Quiet down, Draco."

"I will not quiet down!"

A man with shaggy, brown curls walked up to the Harry and Draco's table. Draco smiled, glancing at his name tag.

"Hello, Tom."

"Hi," Tom said pleasantly. "Are you two ready?"

"Yes!" Draco almost shouted.

Tom looked at Draco nervously and smiled.

"I'd like a salad please," Draco ordered, handing the waiter his menu. "Oh, and can I get a whole tomato with that?"

"Um," Tom replied, scribbling on his notepad. "Okay sir. I'm sure we can do that."

Draco smirked at Harry and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"And I'd like a roasted chicken breast with green beans," Harry said, rolling his eyes at Draco.

"And what would you like to drink?" Tom asked.

"I'll have a glass of ice water and he'll have a beer," Draco replied, motioning to Harry.

"Okay, your food should be ready in ten minutes."

The waiter returned soon with their drinks and food.

"Look at it, Harry," Draco commanded, holding up his ripe tomato.

"Draco, please don't," Harry begged.

"Don't what?"

"Don't start something with the tomato."

"It's a very ripe tomato."

"Yes, it's very ripe."

"Isn't it an attractive vegetable?"

"You know that tomatoes are technically fruit?"

"What?"

"Tomatoes are fruit."

"No, they aren't!"

"Yes, they are."

"Says who?"

"Scientists and Bob the produce man."

"Who's Bob?"

"The produce man."

"And what does _Bob_ know?"

"Are you jealous of Bob?"

"No!"

"You're jealous of Bob the produce man!"

"I am not jealous of Bob the produce man!"

"Eat your food, Draco."

"Fine. But tomatoes aren't fruit," Draco mumbled.

Harry rolled his eyes at the blond again and began picking at his chicken. He glanced up at his lover and stared. Draco was fondling his tomato!

"What are you doing?"

Draco looked up surprised.

"Nothing."

"You're fondling your tomato!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"But just look at it!"

Draco leaned across the table and showed Harry his ruby tomato.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom and I expect you to be done with your tomato when I get back."

Draco glared at the brunette, pulling his arm away. Harry stood up quickly and walked over to the bathroom door.

Draco inspected his perfect tomato and squeezed it gently. Then, he squeezed it a little harder. His fingernails punctured the soft skin, causing juice to run down his pale fingers. It dripped onto the white table cloth, staining the delicate material. Draco gave the vegetable one last squeeze, crushing it in the palm of his hand. Then, he discarded the pile of mush on his plate and dismissed himself from the table. He followed Harry into the bathroom, determined to ravish the man until he became a quivering mess.

"Harry," Draco called walking up to the only locked stall in the bathroom.

A moan erupted from the stall, causing Draco to smirk.

"Harry," Draco repeated. "Let me in. I can do it better."

Draco smiled when he heard the lock click open. He pushed open the door, taking in the sight before him.

"Hey, love," Draco said sweetly.

"Come here," Harry commanded, pulling Draco to him and smashing him against the door.

"Forceful aren't you?"

Harry ignored the comment, capturing Draco's lips in a searing kiss.

"Harry," Draco said, pulling away. "What do you really think of tomatoes?"

Harry gazed at the blond with clouded emerald eyes. He wasn't in the mood to have another discussion about vegetables.

"Hot," Harry mumbled into Draco's neck. "Ripe fruit."

"Vegetable," Draco corrected.

"Hot, ripe vegetable," Harry agreed, unbuckling Draco's belt.

"And I'm hotter than Bob the produce man? Right?"

"Yes," Harry hurriedly agreed.

Draco smirked and pushed back against Harry greedily.


	3. Mashed Potatoes

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco decided to make mashed potatoes for Harry.**

**AN: This is dedicated to the wonderful Awison! She is amazing and I have hopefully made her work with vegetables at Subway more interesting.**

**This also goes out to those other wonderful (3) people who reviewed this story... kaiswings, nickyfox13, and Serenity Blossom.**

**Now, I'd like to take this time to encourage the other people who've read or are reading this story to leave me a review... I'm not going to beg (but don't worry I'm perfectly willing to...)**

**Mashed Potatoes**

"Harry!" Draco called sweetly.

"Yes?" Harry asked from the other room.

"Can you come in here?"

"Why?"

"I have a surprise!"

"What kind of surprise?" Harry asked suspiciously, walking into the kitchen.

"This!" Draco exclaimed, holding out a large glass bowl.

"Mashed potatoes?"

"I made them!"

"I can see that," Harry replied, examining the lumpy mush in the bowl.

"And I didn't even use magic!" Draco declared.

"I can see that," Harry repeated, smiling.

"You're laughing at my potatoes!"

"No, I'm not," Harry replied, stifling a giggle.

"I worked hard on these!" Draco cried, holding the bowl to his chest.

"I know," Harry started.

"And you just come in here and laugh at me! That's the thanks I get! I slaved over a hot stove all day because I wanted to do something nice and you just laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry, Draco," Harry said, dipping his finger into the bowl. He rose it to his lips and sensually sucked the food off of it.

Draco's mouth gaped open and his face flushed.

"Harry," he whispered.

"Hm?" Harry asked, dipping his finger into the bowl again. He smiled and flicked his tongue out to lick up the potatoes.

Draco lost all of his control at that moment. He lunged at Harry, dropping the bowl on the tiled linoleum. Potatoes splattered everywhere as Draco tackled Harry to the floor. Draco smirked at Harry and licked the mashed potatoes off his cheek.

"This is sexy," Draco hissed in Harry's ear. He sucked on the brunette's lobe, tasting a mixture of sweat and potatoes.

"Uh huh," Harry agreed, rolling over on his lover.

He pinned the blond to the cool floor and smiled. Then, he bent down and slowly licked the mashed potatoes off of Draco's neck.

"Oh," Draco moaned, exposing more skin to Harry's sultry tongue. "I love mashed potatoes!"

"Delicious," Harry agreed, licking a hot trail up the other man's arm.

**AN: I guess it's time to beg...Please review...pretty please... with ice cream...and strawberries... and chocolate... and a naked, tangled Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. (Don't you love the imagery?)**


	4. Two Pointed Carrots

1**Vegetable Fetishes**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco tries to distract Harry from his football game with his freshly cleaned carrots.**

**AN: So... this next chapter involves carrots. I'm planning on writing the next chapter on cauliflower. (If you have any ideas for a chapter just leave me a review and let me know!) And remember... Review, Review, Review!**

**Two Pointed Carrots**

Draco smiled as he massaged the long, pointed object. He ran his fingers up and down it as the water cascaded over the surface. He removed the carrot from the stream of water and placed it on the counter. Then, he grabbed another and began cleaning it. He picked up the two carrots and walked into the livingroom.

"Hello, love," he said sweetly.

Harry tore his eyes away from the television and smiled at Draco.

"Hi," he replied quickly before turning back to the screen.

"Harry," Draco called, sitting down beside him on the couch. He set the two carrots on the coffee table and glared at the brunette.

"Huh?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm watching the game, Draco."

Draco looked at the flashing box that was hogging his Harry's attention and frowned.

"They are just chasing that little ball."

"Yes."

"But they aren't even doing anything!"

"Yes they are."

"They never even score and they don't even use magic!"

"This is muggle football."

"I don't see the point."

"Shh!"

"Did you just shh me?"

"Please, Draco," Harry pleaded. "This is the world cup!"

"I hate football!" Draco declared, standing in front of the television set.

"Move!" Harry shouted, trying to see around the blond.

"No!"

"Just watch the game for a moment, Draco."

"Fine!"

Draco turned around and stared at the screen. The camera zoomed in on a very sexy and very sweaty man. Draco immediately perked up.

"Oh! Who's that?"

"That's David Beckham. He plays for England."

"I like him!" Draco declared, sitting down again.

Harry smirked and continued to watch the game. He glanced over at Draco and stared. The man was running his tongue up and down one of the carrots in a very suggestive manner. Harry flushed as his blood rushed south.

"Dr-Draco," he stuttered.

Draco stopped his ministrations and smiled.

"Do you want some, Harry?" he asked, smirking.

Draco winked at his speechless lover and took the whole carrot into his mouth. He slowly closed his lips over the vegetable and began sucking.

Harry shifted in his seat and tried to cover the impressive bulge forming in his pants.

"What's the matter Harry?" Draco asked, removing the carrot from his mouth.

Harry blushed and looked down.

"I can help you with that, Harry," Draco said, running the carrot down the side of Harry's cheek.

Harry gulped loudly and ran his hand through his messy, black hair.

"Take a bite," Draco coaxed, placing the tip of the vegetable on Harry's lips.

Harry stared at the blond before slowly opening his mouth. He took it into his mouth and bit a small piece off.

Draco leaned over and took a bite of the carrot. Then, he offered it to Harry again.

"Oh, screw this!" Harry exclaimed, grabbing the carrot and throwing it at the television screen. He pushed Draco back onto the soft pillows and captured the man's mouth in a searing kiss.

**AN: I don't have anything to lure you into leaving a review today... except asking nicely and smiling innocently.**

"**Will you please leave me a review?"**

**/smiles innocently/**

**/looks around expectantly/**

"**Did it work?"**


	5. Yes, Honey Do Me Please

1**Vegetable Fetishes**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco wants to show Harry his latest turnon.**

**AN: Um... read... review. Sorry it took so long. I've been crazy busy. I'm working two jobs and volunteering and trying to still actually have a life. I just turned 18 yesterday, by the way. I'm officially an adult. Crazy. But yeah... so school is also starting in two weeks for me... but I promise that I'll keep trying to write. :)**

**You all could always review me and tell me and encourage me... that always helps!**

**Oh, and cookies to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!**

**WOOT WOOT!**

**Yes, honey. Do me please.**

"Honey!" Draco screeched.

Harry rolled over on the living room sofa and moaned.

"What do you want?" Harry growled, opening his eyes.

"I want to show you something!"

"What?"

"Just... something!"

"Draco," Harry sighed.

"Come here, please!"

"I'm tired."

"Now!"

"My feet are sore, Draco. I worked hard today."

"If you don't get in here," Draco threatened.

"Fine!" Harry yelled, standing.

The brunette stretched his muscular arms over his head and yawned.

"Where are you, babe?" Harry asked through his yawn.

"In the kitchen, honey."

Harry yawned again and ran his fingers through his ruffled hair.

He walked into the kitchen and rubbed his eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing." Draco replied, smiling.

"I'm not going to play games with you now."

"But you like to play games with me," Draco pouted.

Harry smoothed out his wrinkled t-shirt and stared at his white socks.

"I have boring socks."

"What?" Draco asked.

Harry yawned, continuing to stare at his feet.

"My socks, they're boring."

"They are not boring!"

"Why not?" Harry asked, looking up at the blonde.

"Because I bought them for you."

"Oh."

Draco rolled his eyes and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"What are you doing?" Harry questioned.

"Nothing," Draco said innocently, holding his hands behind his back.

"You're up to something."

"No, I'm not."

"You have that 'I'm up to something' look."

"I don't have an 'I'm up to something' look!"

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh un!"

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"What are we fighting about again?"

"Um..."

"Socks!"

"No, we're fighting about my 'up to something' look."

"Ha! So you admit that you have one!"

"Uh!" Draco exclaimed, glaring. "No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!" Harry teased.

"Want to know what's behind my back?" Draco asked sweetly.

Harry's face immediately filled with curiosity.

"What?" the brunette asked.

Draco smiled bashfully and held the object out to Harry.

"It's a honeydew melon." Harry observed, tilting his head.

"Yeah."

"I thought you were obsessed with vegetables."

"Well, I like this fruit."

Harry smiled and took the fruit from his lover.

"Want to take this to the bedroom?"

"Yes, honey. Do me please."


	6. I'll Have What He's Having

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco and Harry are selling concessions...**

**AN: Okay... I need to tell you how I wrote this. I work at a grocery store and I was scheduled to work out in the brat (pronounced brought) stand yesterday and today... And well... I had dirrty (with two r's) thoughts when I was serving them. It's always pretty slow so I decided to write it while I was working. So, this was written on three napkins! Oh, and I was pretty much paid to write this... that amuses me!**

**Oh, and I'd like to thank all of you who reviewed! You're all amazing! And To La: Yes, I do watch Gilmore Girls. It's my favorite show! And To Purple Duckies: I liked my play on words. I'm glad you did too. :)**

**Also... (is anyone still reading this Author's Note?) Thanks to those of you who added me to your favorite's list... and those 2 c2s.**

**You guys all ROCK!**

**And REVIEW PLEASE!**

**...now I'll shut up! On with the story!**

**I'll Have What He's Having**

Draco plopped a pump brat into a bun and handed it to the grey-haired muggle before him.

"Here you go," the blond said with forced enthusiasm. He took the women's money and threw it into the cash drawer.

"Why am I doing this?" he asked, crossing his arms.

The brunette beside him smiled and placed a hand on Draco's shoulder.

"Because you're the best boyfriend," Harry offered.

"No, that can't be it," Draco said, leaning against the counter.

"Well," Harry said. "Because neither of us can say no to little Emily?"

Draco smiled and nodded.

"I actually like that brat," he said fondly. "But next time don't volunteer us to work the concession stand. I can't stand all these damn muggles!"

Draco slammed his palm down on the counter and yelped.

"Ow! Mother fu-"

"Draco!"

"It hurts like a son of a b-"

"DRACO!"

"Harry!" Draco cried, shoving his hand in the other man's face. "Get it out! Get it out!"

Harry tenderly grasped Draco's hand.

"There's a bee stuck in it," Harry observed.

"Harry!" Draco whimpered. "It hurts!"

Harry gently plucked the insect out and flicked it away.

"All better," Harry declared, placing a kiss on Draco's now swollen palm.

Draco pouted and gazed up at Harry.

"A little, I guess."

"Good."

Harry pulled the blond into a tight hug and smiled.

"Uh hmm!" exclaimed a shrill voice.

Harry and Draco immediately broke apart and smiled at the women before them. Her greying hair was pulled back into a tight bun and her glasses were sitting on the very tip of her pointed nose.

"Hello ma'am," Harry greeted. "What can I get for you today?"

"I'll just have a bag of potato chips," she screeched, dumping her coin purse on the counter. "Count that."

"Uh," Harry responded. "Sure."

Harry counted the women's change and took just enough. Then he handed the women her bag of chips and smiled.

"Have a good day!"

The women glared at Harry and stalked away.

"Damn kids and their hanky panky nonsense!" she muttered just loud enough for Draco and Harry to hear.

Draco huffed and reached for the pocked of his blue jeans.

"Don't," Harry commanded. "She isn't worth it. Put your wand away."

"Fine," Draco agreed. "I mean, did you see that outfit she was wearing? It was atrocious! Speaking of atrocious, why do we have to wear these ugly muggle clothes?"

"Because we're working with muggles. Hermione's niece, Emily, is a muggle, Draco."

"I know," Draco said. "One of the only decent ones."

Harry glared at his boyfriend but said nothing.

"You know," Draco started, placing a brat on his bun. "These are turning me on."

"What?" Harry exclaimed, his voice squeaking.

"Well," Draco said smiling. "Look at it. It is very suggestive."

"I will never understand your food fetishes," Harry replied, shaking his head. "What happened to vegetables anyway?"

"They are still extremely sexy," Draco whispered, taking a step toward Harry. "But don't you want some meat sometime?"

"M-meat?"

"Yesss," Draco hissed. He grasped the brat in his fist and raised it to his mouth. He sucked on the tip and then gently bit the tender skin.

Harry smiled awkwardly and took a step backwards.

"You have no idea how had I am right now," Draco stated smoothly.

Harry gaped at the blond, trying to cover himself.

"Oh!" Draco exclaimed, swiftly knocking Harry onto the floor. "Does little Harry want to come out and well... come?"

"Dra-aco," Harry stuttered. "W-we can't d-do this here. Someone might catch us!"

"But that's what makes it hot!" Draco whispered in a husky voice. He shifted his weight so he was directly on top of the brunette. Then he began to slowly rock his body against Harry's.

"Mmm," Harry groaned, pushing his hips up to meet Draco's.

Draco reached between them and swiftly undid Harry's leather belt. He pulled the horrendous jeans down to the other man's knees and plunged his silky fingers down the Gryffindor's boxers.

"Oh," Harry moaned again.

"Hi," greeted an amused male voice, interrupting the couple.

Harry and Draco's head snapped up at the tall man standing on the other side of the counter.

"Um..." Draco said. "How can I help you?"

The man smiled and motioned to Harry.

"I'll have what he's having."

**AN: Just so you don't forget... REVIEW PWEEZE!**

**AN (08/27/06): Oh, and I'm sorry... I was going to tell you all what a brat is... it's just a rather big/plump hot dog... and if you don't know what a hot dog is... well don't worry about it. And I know they probably wouldn't be selling these but too bad... that's what I wrote.**


	7. Thank You, Come Again

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do dirrty (with two r's) things...**

**Summary: Draco kidnaps Harry and brings him to the produce department of a grocery store.**

**AN: Yes, all... I'm glad to announce that Bob will be making an appearance in this one.**

**AN number 2: Chelsea, here you go... your squash. I hope you enjoy it!**

**AN number 3: I was planning on ending it but I decided to add this one... there may be more... probably not... but stay posted. Oh...and review!**

**Thank you, Come Again**

Draco gleefully removed the blindfold from Harry's eyes and beamed at him.

"Ta da!" Draco exclaimed, raising both of his arms above his head.

"Oh my God," Harry whispered.

He cautiously gazed around, gasping at the vast display of vegetables.

"No," Harry exclaimed. "Draco, we can not be here!"

"It's the produce department!" Draco yelled with excitement.

Harry ran his finger through his tangled locks and sighed.

"We have to be careful, Draco. This is a muggle grocery store."

Draco grumbled incoherently as he rushed toward a display of squash.

Harry lowered his head, defeated, and followed after Draco.

The ex-slytherin grasped the firm vegetable in his hand and then started pumping his fist up and down. He smirked at Harry's mortified expression and threw the squash into the shopping cart before them.

"Where did that come from?" Harry asked.

"I killed a muggle with blue hair so I could get the cart."

Harry scrutinized his lover, unsure if the man was joking. Draco smirked again, walking away. He swung his hips back and forth, eyeing the lettuce seductively

A man in a horrible burnt orange apron approached Draco.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"No, everything is fine. Thanks anyway..."

Draco inspected the man's name tag.

"BOB!"

"Yeah?" the man asked, growing frightened.

"BOB! Bob the produce man!?!?"

"Um..." Bob smiled politely and started backing away.

"Not so fast," Draco warned. He clutched the man's collar and grinned maliciously. "You stay the hell away from _my_ Harry, Bob."

"I...I have no idea what you're talking about, sir."

Draco glared and reached for his wand.

"Draco!" Harry warned, rushing up to the blond.

"I thought you loved me, Harry," Draco whimpered.

"What are you talking about?"

Draco motioned to Bob and grimaced.

Harry smiled at the man and protectively wrapped an arm around Draco.

"Thanks for the help, Bob. We're fine."

Bob smiled again and walked away.

"Let's go, honey," Harry whispered, turning Draco away.

"Okay," the other man agreed, casually grabbing a tomato. He quickly turned around and whipped it at Bob the produce man's head.

"And it's a vegetable!" Draco yelled, rushing in an aisle with his full cart.

Draco smiled as he carefully unloaded his precious vegetables onto the conveyor belt at the cash register.

"Did you find everything alright?" asked the cashier.

"Yes," Draco responded. "But I'd like to complain about your produce man. He was very rude to me."

Harry elbowed the man and smiled at the cashier

"He's just kidding. We found everything we needed... um, thanks though Chelsea."

The girl smiled sweetly and rang up their remaining items.

"Thanks, come again!"

"Oh, don't worry," Draco hissed. He grabbed the squash out of a plastic bag and winked. "_He will_."


	8. This xxxx is Bananas

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco ****Malfoy**** or Harry Potter... I just like to force them to do ****dirrty****(with two ****r's**** things...**

**Summary: ****Draco shifts his obsession from vegetables to fruit. He has a little fun with ****Harry's**** banana.**

**AN: So I'd like to take some time to welcome myself back. I think I'll start to write some ****fan fictions**** again. ****And I'd like to announce… ****I plan to broaden vegetable fetishes to now include FRUIT! I know… it sounds ****crazzzzy**** but it has been demanded. **

**This Shit is Bananas!**

Harry slipped his key into the knob, turned it quickly to the right while pushing upward, and then shoved his shoulder into the wooden surface. It gave way, issuing him access to his flat. He stumbled forward, trying not to fumble the paper bags of groceries in his arms.

Regaining his composure, Harry gave a sigh of relief. Then he heard a low laugh sound from behind him.

"How did I ever get stuck with someone so ungraceful?" questioned the laughing man. He walked in a circle around Harry, taking time to grab the brunette's arse as he passed behind. Harry squeaked and jumped in surprise. This jolt caused a bag to fall from his arms, spilling its contents on the hardwood floor.

Draco smirked and bent down slowly. He picked up a banana from the scattered mess and held it firmly in his hand.

Quickly, he leaned over and gave his dark haired boyfriend a peck on the lips. Then he rushed from the room.

"Where are you going?" Harry yelled after the man. Draco had already disappeared around the corner, however.

The brunette bit his lower lip, growing nervous. He looked around, not sure what he should do.

"Well," Harry muttered to himself. "It doesn't really matter. I can't stop him once he has his mind set on something."

Harry grabbed the spilled groceries and packed them back into a bag. Then he hauled everything into the kitchen.

"Dear?" Draco yelled from the bedroom. "Could you come in here please?"

Harry hesitantly walked to the bedroom he shared with the other man. He spotted the closed door and grew even more worried. Harry slowly opened the door and peaked around the room.

Suddenly, Draco popped out of the adjoining bathroom. He was dressed in black leather pants with suspenders strapped over his toned chest. A bright yellow feathered scarf was tied around his neck.

Harry gaped at the other man, unable to form any other response.

Draco pranced around the room towards the CD player. He pushed the play button, causing loud music to erupt from the speakers.

"Ooooh ooh! This my shit! This my shit!" the blonde proclaimed, throwing his arms into the air.

Draco pulled a banana out of the back of his tight pants and pointed it at Harry.

"Let me hear you say," Draco continued. "This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

Draco twirled in a circle.

"This shit is bananas!" he sang, thrusting his hips. "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

The blonde placed the piece of fruit in his mouth and bit down softly. Then he started to sensually remove his suspenders. He slipped them off and then pulled off his pants, revealing his lack of underwear.

Fully exposed Draco strutted over to Harry. He took the banana out of his mouth and placed his palm on the door, slamming it shut.

"This shit is bananas," Draco whispered in the brunette's ear. He bit the other man's soft earlobe, receiving a moan in response.


	9. Can't Elope

**Vegetable Fetishes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter... **

**Summary: Draco decides that he really doesn't like a certain fruit.**

**AN: HI… I know I haven't posted anything in a while…. I hope you all haven't forgotten about me. ;) Please REVIEW!**

**Can't Elope **

_SPLAT!_

"What was that sound, Draco?" Harry instantly inquired.

"Sound?" Draco questioned innocently. "What sound?"

"The loud SPLAT sound," Harry replied, emphasizing the word 'splat' by clapping his hands together.

"I think you just might be delusional, honey."

Harry rolled his eyes but decided to humor his lover. Relaxing on the couch, he picked up yesterday's newspaper from the coffee table.

_SPLAT!!_

Harry set down the paper and sighed.

"What was that?" Harry asked.

"Nothing."

"I know I heard something, Draco."

"Nope… just your imagination. Maybe you should get your head checked out?"

"Well _you_ are certainly driving me crazy!"

"Exactly!" Draco declared triumphantly.

Harry scratched his head, completely confused by the blonde.

_SPLAT!!! SPLAT!!!_

Jumping off the couch, Harry hurried toward the kitchen.

"AH HA!" Harry exclaimed just before he reached the doorway. He ran into the room, his fist raised in the air. He did not say anything though, because he was completely dumbstruck by the scene before him.

Draco was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum in front of the fridge. He had the fridge door wide open and there were pieces of smashed cantaloupe all over the floor.

"What?!?" Harry exclaimed in disbelief.

His mouth hanging wide open, Harry simply stared at the other man.

"_What_ are you doing?" Harry asked after he regained his composure.

"I don't like cantaloupe," Draco stated simply.

"You don't _like_ cantaloupe? You don't like cantaloupe, so you _smashed_ it on the floor?

"Yes."

"What!?" Harry repeated, absolutely confused.

Draco crawled over on his knees and grabbed Harry's hand.

"You of all people should know that I hate being told no. I hate being told I can't do something…"

"Yeah..." Harry agreed.

"Well that's why I don't like this fruit, Harry."

Draco shifted and picked one knee up off the floor, putting the weight on his foot.

"D-dd-draco…" the brunette stuttered.

"Will you marry me Harry James Potter?" Draco proposed, pulling a small velvet box out of his pocket.

Harry smiled and walked over to the fridge that Draco had left open. After rummaging around inside, he finally pulled out a large cantaloupe and threw it at the floor.

"So…I'm taking that as a yes?" Draco asked, smiling.


End file.
